I think I might be abandoning this account and starting over again. I was kind of assessing what makes tumblr interesting to me and realized that following a bunch of people who reblog tons of photos or chains of gifs doesn’t really appeal to me. I want to find blogs that are creative, self-expressive, and original. My blog has mainly been the kind I find unimpressive. So I want to try again differently this time.
I guess what I mean is a blog more about me, and I guess I won’t completely know until I start, but I want to spend less time scrolling down my dashboard and more time thinking about what I can contribute and what is worthwhile. This means more rambling, but also probably more thought-out posts and stories about my life where I try to make everything sound more exciting than it really is.
Sorry for anyone who has recently followed me ever since I kind of turned into a photography blog. My new blog will still be photos. Less reblogging and more of my own photos. I’ll give you all a link to follow me when I create a new account. And if I follow you now and you fit into my category of creative, self-expressive, and original blogs then I will follow you again.
Should I feel some kind of tension welling up inside me as the countdown begins. Should I worry about the immediate changes that could take place. Because this new years eve was the most static I’ve felt out of all of them. I didn’t really realize until now, but other than the pounding in my ears from fireworks there was no rush of excitement. I’m not sure what a new year should feel like or if your supposed to feel anything at all, but I guess I do know that I need to get my act together and start working harder for myself. A new year for me is just a way to split a period of time so that I can more easily evaluate how I’ve changed.
I don’t think I’ve changed. I guess I’m more interested in clothing now. And I guess I’ve developed some new interests like photography. But I’m still the same shy guy with a bit of a problem for stepping up to big tasks and the same old stubbornness that makes me value my free time over any sort of work. I guess I don’t really want to change myself that much. I do want to continue to value the free time I have to see friends, but just spending time with people isn’t going to cut it. I need to be a friend and just being with friends doesn’t really mean anything. So to be a friend I need to find a way to get to know people. Talk with people. And I need to stop being so shy. I need to be more helpful and be willing to work harder cause in the end a chronically lazy guy isn’t going to be the guy to trust your life with. I want people to really know me and I want to get to really know other people.
Maybe I’m on the right track. Maybe 2011 will be the last section of my life where I mark myself as the chronically lazy shy guy. I don’t want to become some new person who know one recognizes. I just want to be willing to let people know the guy I am now. Hopefully God shows me whatever path I need to become to best person I can be.
